Why is fat shaming still socially acceptable?

Trawling through this morning's online edition of the Daily Mail (aka Daily Fail) I came across two very different stories, both on the subject of weight - specifically women's weight.

The first one's headline is :

'You're fat... the ultimate insult: Making a jibe about appearance is more likely to offend than swearing or insulting race or religion'

The article features a photo of a woman taken from behind. This seems to be a habit with the press, and it always makes me wonder if these people have given their permission for their photographs to be used.

Some of the comments made by the readers demonstrate a level of ignorance and insensitivity that is mind boggling. Just for a second imagine the reaction if the word 'fat' was replaced by the word 'black' or 'gay'. There would be an outcry, that is, if those comments would make it past the Mail's moderator, which I doubt very much.

most fat people deserve everything they get, isnt being a glutton a sin?

- frank bull, manchester, United Kingdom, 9/8/2013 5:10

yep that is why I do it.... "You are Ugly" also works..... and for the chicks "I see you have been shopping at thrift shops again"

- bob, China, China, 9/8/2013 7:04

Its amazing to hear how many fat people have a 'Thyroid problem' these days and weird that it was practically unheard of 30 years ago when, funnily enough there were less fat people. The government needs to invest heavily in 'thyroid problem' research and find a cure soon before we're all struck down with acute laziness.

 - Expat Eddie, Sydney, 9/8/2013 7:19 

Some people just can't accept the truth - if they're fat, they're fat! "Fat" is NOT an offensive word nor an insult. Get over yourselves.

- TonyMartin, Berwick, 9/8/2013 7:28

The second story features Emma, a young woman who is a slimming club's slimmer of the year. These sort of stories feature quite regularly in the press, but the headline that grabbed my attention was this:

It appears to make humiliation acceptable. A bit rich from the Mail, seeing as they are also jumping on the bandwagon calling for the ask.fm website to be removed because they believe that cyber bullying has led to children's suicide.

Emma herself describes her experience: 

"I was going to an Asian wedding and I had to get measured for an outfit which was basically a long dress and trousers. The women were measuring me and they said "that can't be right". They couldn't believe I was that size. I was mortified."

No censoring of those women's cruel remark, or how this impacted Emma psychologically. Which brings me to my own experience. A few years ago, I was roughly Emma's weight before she began her weight loss journey. I was suffering from knee pain, something that flares up now and then because of a fall I had over 20 years ago, which resulted in me having surgery and a piece of cartilege removed. Rather than look at my medical history, this doctor assumed that my joints were straining because of the weight I was carrying...ok, I admit that did not help matters. He then told me that if I didn't lose weight I would be a big fat blob by the time I was 60. That's right, he called me a BIG FAT BLOB!!!

I left the surgery in tears, and as soon as I got home, I tried to commit suicide by taking an overdose. The doctor had also ommitted to check my history of mental health issues and suicide attempts before he made that comment. Even thinking back about it now still hurts and brings back feelings of anger.

It did however, trigger me to lose weight. But was this the right approach? If my husband hadn't made me throw up the pills I took that day I wouldn't be here to tell the tale. I would have ended up as a big fat corpse. 

As an end note, we did complain to the surgery about said doctor. It seems that other people had also complained about him, as he is no longer practising there.

Ask fm and the question of censorship

Maybe I am a fuddy duddy but until a few days ago I thought that ask.fm was just a radio station. But then I read this story about a young girl who had apparently committed suicide because of cyber bullying she had received on that site. This has brought up a huge debate over Internet censorship, with calls from politicians and the press for the site to be banned. Politicians from all sides of the political spectrum,  the companies which have pulled adverts from the website and the mainstream media, from the Daily Mail to the Guardian, are quick to place the blame on ask.fm, However, no one knows if this poor child had issues that led her to commit suicide. There is also the fact that increasing pressure is being placed on young girls to look and dress a certain way in order to be accepted by their peers.....but that is a subject for a future post.

Coincidentally, a few weeks ago, the government were talking about bringing stricter controls to our Internet content, something that I totally oppose.I consider myself to be a free thinker and censorship is usually an anathema to me. But having a look at the site in question has made me think.

Trawling through the site I don't really see much evidence of cyber bulling, although I did see instances of insults being traded back and forth, much in the same way as normal playground banter. However, the problem as I see it with ask.fm is not bullying  but rather that this site is a paedophile's wet dream come true.

The site appears to be popular amongst young teenagers of school age. They create a profile with a little bit of information about themselves, add pictures and then invite visitors to the site to ask them anything. The person who asks the questions doesn't necessarily have to have a profile, and this is where the problem lies. Below are some screencaps I just took at random from some profiles so that can see for yourselves.

But how can we, as a society, solve this issue without taking draconian measures? The kid in the second screencap makes the suggestion that anonymous posting should be stopped. That is quite a good suggestion, but in reality, it is extremely easy to set up a fake profile, and even use a proxy server to hide your location. In my opinion, we need to look at how we live our own lives and take responsibility for our own actions and that of our children. Why don't parents monitor what their children get up to online? Or is it much more convenient to let your child loose on the Internet whilst you are watching the latest episode of TOWIE?  I will leave you with that thought.....